I've started something new and stupid. I started a diet. But not just any diet. A chocolate-free diet. NO CHOCOLATE at any time. Just before Easter, no less. I'll let you know how many days it takes for me to break down. I may be allergic to caffeine, but somehow my body thinks it's worth it to get sick from chocolate. I guess it's kind of like dying during sex. Or not.

I went shopping yesterday after work. I stepped off the metro and headed up the stairs to check out this new store over yonder when this girl steps right in front of me. I was going to pass around her when she started talking to me in English. ENGLISH! That's a very odd thing here in Quebec where the first language out of people's mouths is franglais. Anyway, I was listening to my discman so I had to unplug myself and say:

"what?"

(in a high pitched squeaky voice)"Hi! Maybe you can help me and my friend..."

She pulls out this brochure for a "coiffure"(hairdresser) called "Entre Nous." (between us)

"blah blah blah... you can get a really nice haircut...blah blah blah...and a dye job or possibly just streaks in whichever colour you prefer...blah blah blah...and a really relaxing shampoo, like, oh my gawd it's so relaxing...blah blah (look at me I'm listening patiently for all of 10 minutes for her to finish her spiel. I'm such a good girl.) blah...and it will only cost $47.00 and usually it's way over $100.00. So do you want to sign up now!?"

"No, thanks."

(crestfallen) "You don't? Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I'm sure. Thanks though."

"Oh, okay."

"Hey, can I ask you a question? Does my hair really look that bad?"

(stammering, trying to figure out what to say...)"Um, no, you just look like somebody who likes to take care of their appearance."

Riiiiight.

"Bye."

Yeah. I just look like somebody who likes to take care of their appearance?

My niece has been shrieking a blue storm the last few weeks. She's really trying to talk and I can see the worry lines in my brother's forehead. Her first word looks like it's going to be "Apple" for some reason. She doesn't even eat apple. She's just started saying "Appo." Maybe she's trying to say "Alpo?" They DO have a dog. I don't know. All I know is that she's really cute. And I'm not just saying that because she's related to me and has my genes in her.

Is it possible to be insecure and conceited in one entry? Well, yes, it is.

I thought for sure my niece's first word was going to be my brother's name as he's almost always getting in trouble. Only this time, with his wife. You see, my first word was my brother's name because he was always getting in trouble with my parents. It makes sense. I was mildly deaf at a young age and my mother had(has) a propensity to raise her voice (like all mothers do) when my brother got(gets) in trouble.

Two + two = four

The little bugger (my niece, not my brother) is also crawling herself an escape route. She's crawling a little weirdly though. She puts one foot flat on the ground, her hands flat on the ground and sort of drags her other leg like she's a dog with a bum leg. It's really funny and adorable. However, I don't think she'll be doing this for much longer as she's already begun standing all by her lonesome. It's only a matter of time before we hear the pitter patter of her feet and not the swish of her dragging her bum leg.

No, she doesn't have a bum leg. She's just a weird child. She'd have to be to survive this family, now wouldn't she?

I've gotten my parents addicted to CSI. I bought season 1 & 2 on DVD, and they just bought season 3. It's a great thing, the three of us sitting down and watching four episodes together. Except... my father insists on not fast-forwarding through the theme song and who-whoing his way through in a very annoying voice.

I don't know why I told you that.

Spellcheck thought "whoing" was "whoring." Now wouldn't that be funny... my father insists on who-whoring his way through in a very annoying voice. Hmm.